Seven People Not Being Considered for Justice League Roles

It was announced a few weeks ago that a Justice League movie was in the works, and the response within the nerd community was overwhelming: "We like Wonder Woman's breasts!"Also, there has been some discussion of casting. The Justice League, if you're not "hip" to the "jive," is a consortium of DC Comics heroes who work together to battle the forces of evil. The group includes Superman, Batman, Wonder Woman, Aquaman, Flash, Green Lantern, and Martian Manhunter, all of whom besides Superman are of course unnecessary. And while it's been confirmed that George Miller will direct, no one knows yet who will play any of the superheroes.

This has led to rampant speculation on the Internet and plenty of false rumors. Jessica Biel will play Wonder Woman! No, it's Shannyn Sossamon! Christian Bale will play Batman! No, he won't! Rupert Evans is Superman! Whoops, never mind!

As an antidote to all this madness, we offer:

PEOPLE WHO ARE NOT BEING CONSIDERED TO PLAY JUSTICE LEAGUE MEMBERS:

Superman: John Goodman
While he has the all-American charm, the height, and the deep voice, we don't think Goodman would be right as the Man of Steel, primarily because he is very fat. And sure enough, Warner Bros. agrees with us, as John Goodman is not being considered to play Superman.
Batman: Zac Efron
Warner Bros. is all about finding hot young stars to play these roles, not old fossils. At first we thought Zac Efron, fresh off his High School Musical and Hairspray successes, would be a perfect choice for the Caped Crusader. But then we remembered that Batman is supposed to be tough and gritty, and Zac Efron is effeminate and made of satin. Because of this, sure enough, he is not being considered to play Batman.
Wonder Woman: Elizabeth Taylor
On the one hand, she has the dignified air of royalty about her; she's beautiful; and she's a Hollywood legend. On the other hand, she is 103 years old and possibly insane. Also, she's not particularly tall. For these reasons (mostly the height issue), Elizabeth Taylor is not being considered to play Wonder Woman.
Flash: Flash the Basset hound from The Dukes of Hazzard
It seems like a great idea. Roscoe P. Coltrane's faithful hound was named Flash, and here's a character named Flash! The dog that played Flash wouldn't even have to learn a new name to respond to! Unfortunately, the dog that played Flash has been dead for at least 20 years. Consequently, he is not being considered to play Flash.
Aquaman: Howard Stern
At first blush, he seems born to play the role of Aquaman. Like Aquaman, Howard Stern is fairly useless when compared to his colleagues. He and Aquaman also share a love for water sports. Unfortunately, Stern refused to take the part unless the movie's title was changed to Howard Stern in the Adventures of Aquaman, Starring Howard Stern. And so now he is not being considered to play Aquaman.
Martian Manhunter: We have never heard of Martian Manhunter before.
Our primary exposure to the Justice League comes from old "Super Friends" cartoons, and Mr. Manhunter was not in them. Hence we have no idea who should play him -- but we're pretty sure it shouldn't be Whoopi Goldberg.
Green Lantern: An actual green lantern
We love the ingenuity in buying a green lantern at Home Depot and using CGI to make it appear to talk, move, fight crime, etc. But since the other characters are being played by traditional human actors, and since there's a good chance at least one of those roles will be played by someone who could be out-acted even by an inanimate object, a green lantern is not being considered to play Green Lantern.

Source: www.cinema-pedia.com

Billy Crystal Wins Twain Humor Prize

Carl Reiner, Steve Martin and Whoopi Goldberg have all won it. Now, to borrow a famous movie line he wrote, Billy Crystal is having what they're having.

The comedian, actor, Broadway star and Yankees fan's many talents and passions were celebrated Thursday night at the Kennedy Center as he accepted the 10th annual Mark Twain Prize for American Humor.

"Does this mean I have to retire now?" Crystal asked as he cradled the award, a bust of Twain. "Usually when someone is given an evening like this, they're way too dead to say thank you."

Rob Reiner, who directed the Crystal movie "When Harry Met Sally," credited him with the lasting success of the famous restaurant scene in which Meg Ryan fakes an orgasm. Afterward, a woman cracks, "I'll have what she's having."

"Billy Crystal wrote that line," said Reiner, thanking his friend for granting cinematic immortality to his mother, Estelle Reiner, who delivered it.

The director was among the parade of Hollywood glitterati who reminisced about working with Crystal, though the honoree appeared particularly moved when New York Yankees manager Joe Torre, looking dapper and relaxed in a gray suit, took the stage.

"Honestly, you and I had pretty good years," said Torre, whose job status is uncertain after the Yankees were eliminated in the first round of baseball's postseason. "Yours is finishing up a little bit better than mine."

Thursday's ceremony was taped for broadcast Nov. 12 on PBS.

Crystal, 59, came to prominence as Jodie Dallas on the comedy series "Soap," as the first openly gay character on network television. He starred on "Saturday Night Live" in the 1984-85 season, when he was best known for his caricature of "Latin lover" Fernando Lamas ("You look mahvelous"). He also impersonated Howard Cosell and Sammy Davis Jr., among many others.

"He's got a great ear and a great eye for people," Robin Williams said.

Success in movies followed, peaking in the late '80s and early '90s with "Sally" and "City Slickers." Later, Crystal helped bring out the lighter side of Robert De Niro in the mob comedies "Analyze This" and "Analyze That."

"He was so generous," De Niro said. "Not many people get Billy Crystal as a straight man."

Williams said Crystal, whose recent successes include the Tony-winning one-man show "700 Sundays," keeps improving with age.

"He's gotten better and better, kind of like a good cheese," Williams said. "Or a Cabernet. But since I've gotten out of rehab, I'll go with cheese."

Crystal's humor rarely shocks or offends one reason he's been so successful as host of the Oscars. But his friends say he has a darker side.

"He can be edgy," Williams said. "If he wanted to be, he could be really nasty. But he chooses to be kinder, because it's more him. And he loves people."

Source: www.cinema-pedia.com